VAGABOND

My life is practically a lie yeah, and I’m too fucking stupid to realize it.

I have no friends, I post bulletins, anything, to make me seem like I have popularity, in the end I have no one.

I’ve totally ruined my relationship, because I scared him away, when I say this, its true, I’m a fucking skitz, who needs so much help, or maybe I’m just faking it all? who knows?

Yeah, as soon as we we’re over, I started being a fucking smartass about everything, acting all fucking mature and tough, haha, I’m a fucking joke. I’m mature? No way, I think I can handle everything, maybe with my fists, and threats.

And then I say to him, don’t be threatening my family or i’ll call the police.

Well for one, I threatened my own fucking family too much, I put them through so much shit that I deserve to jump off a fucking cliff to be honest. Jeremy was practically a shoulder, I had no one else to lean on, or abuse, I ruined hes education, I manipulated him.

I think I’m all that? all popular? I’m going places, sipping alcohol? Fuck yeah I’m good.

Acting all nice and stuff to people, I say this and I hope you remember this, You do not see what goes on inside closed doors, pretty much hell.

I don’t know how my boyfriend put up with it, because I was a fucking disaster, practically almost killing my mums dog, to cutting my own arm open, and not letting my mum out of her own house, verbally and psychically abusing her.

BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT, WHAT I SAY, IS ALWAYS CORRECT, NO ONE ELSES OPINION FUCKING MATTERS TO ME, OR WHATEVER THEY SAY TO ME THATS TRUE, I’LL PROOVE THEM WRONG WITH FALSE INFORMATION.

Haha yeah, I have a fake myspace too.. I got so fucked up, I made a fake myspace, and killed someone over it. When I told my ex this, he said thats fucked up, stop that shit its just fucked up.

I THREATENED HIM IF HE TOLD ANYONE I WOULD BREAK UP WITH HIM

This is what I said to use it against him all the time.

I’m such a good person, right?

Text 294
Notes 12838.) Seeing all my friends with boyfriends, who I am pretty sure they are going to marry, depresses me. I feel like I’ll never have what they have because I’m too overweight and I’m so shy and I get too nervous in front of boys that I don’t think anyone will ever like me for me. I really don’t want to end up alone, but I probably will.. I’ll be that girl who simply just has her family.. but at least I have them, right?

(via blogsecret)

Text 2
Notes

I am crying whilst finalising my Soundwave ticket order, This is like all my money I’ve saved up in 3 years.
oh god ):

Text 18.03.2009 - 26.11.2009

Jeremy dumped me today , Thankyou God

Text 2
Notes

I know you well enough to know you never loved me

Why can’t I feel anything
From anyone other than you?